


If you act cheery it can't hurt you

by logans_library



Series: Vent Fics [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Blood and Injury, Burns, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders has Intrusive Thoughts, Deceit | Janus Sanders is a Good Friend, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Violent Thoughts, assume what you will, featuring some of my own intrusive thoughts ha projecting who?, not going to comment on weather I've actually done this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28543527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/logans_library/pseuds/logans_library
Summary: Janus finds Remus post acting in some intrusive thoughts and takes care of him
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: Vent Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2091108
Comments: 1
Kudos: 39





	If you act cheery it can't hurt you

**Author's Note:**

> Ik I suck at summaries don't at me

"Here love can I see that?" Janus held out a hand and Remus placed his shaking one in it, "Thank you. Come on, let's go to the bathroom," Janus put his other hand on the small of the other's back and helped ease him off his bed. 

He took off his gloves and started the tap slow and warm. When it was a comfortable temperature he ran the water over their loosely held hands, turning it pink from the blood beading from Remus's knuckles. 

"Is there anything else?" Janus's voice was soft and caring, and Remus could tell he wasn't mad, but that didn't stop him from shaking his head. Janus raised his eyebrow.

"Left arm," Remus said meekly, his voice breaking a bit as he added, "All the way up,"

"It's ok darling. Let's get your shirt off. This fabric can't feel pleasant on them," Surely enough when Remus had tossed his shirt into the bathtub the cuts and burns up his arm and onto his chest were messy and aggravated. Janus cooed to him as he got a soft cloth wet and started dabbing off the blood covering him. 

"May I ask what enticed this?"

"Usual," Remus winced out as Janus applied a bit of pressure to one of the worse gashes.

"Would it help to get it out in the air rather than your head?" Remus stopped, "I wouldn't ask if I was opposed to hearing it. If you talking about it is going to be beneficial you are well aware I'm not going to judge or have my own issues because of it," 

"I couldn't help it," Remus sniffled, "I really tried, I promise,"

"Hey, hey, shh," Janus brought out a third arm to wipe the tears from under Remus's eyes with its thumb as it cupped his face, "I know you did. I understand you tried really hard, and that sometimes the urge is too strong. But you are strong and brave, and I'm not mad in the slightest,"

"It's so loud sometimes," Remus tilted his head into the hand against his cheek, gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes as Janus cleaned his wrist, "Want to smash my skull with Pat's meat tenderizer,"

"Look at that! You did very well! You didn't do that! That takes a lot of willpower sometimes, and I'm very happy you didn't act on it,"

"Want to snap someone's neck, and I could do it too! Janus, I shouldn't be able to do it," Remus looked to him pleadingly with wet eyes, "I shouldn't be able to kill people. I shouldn't want to kill people, please help me, shoot me, something,"

"No darling I'm never going to internationally hurt you," Janus dismissed the extra limb and replaced it with the both of his usual hands framing Remus's face, "And I really, really hope nothing ever happens that you get hurt like that, or to any degree to that matter,"

Remus batted the hands from his face and hid it in his own. Janus gave him a sad look and got in the medicine cabinet for alcohol, aloe, and gauze. 

"I don't think you'd ever kill anyone, even if you could. We're not real. But even if we were, and we could actually die, I don't think you would kill anyone,"

"Jannie, you don't know what it's like,"

"You're right, Remus I don't. But I do know how hard you try, and how much you keep inside. And as much as it pains me emotionally to see you in pain," Janus eased down his left arm again to gently stream the disinfectant over the cuts that soaked into the clean folded towel he pressed under the section of skin, "But you said you wanted to snap someone's neck and you haven't. You've said you've wanted to dismember people several times but you've never done it,"

"I put a shuriken in Logan's head," Remus sobbed desperately trying to prove his point.

"And look at him!" Janus said almost joyously, trying to reassure Remus, "He's reading about astronomy right now if he hasn't gotten up. He's perfectly fine. Hell, he was back on his feet and basically unfazed less than five minutes later,"

"Hands please?" Remus asked and Janus immediately brought the third arm back out along with a fourth. The third held his jaw again and the fourth gently ran up and down from his ribs to his hip, "I'm so so sorry, Jan,"

"Please do not apologize for any of his. Please tell me next time and I can get you an outlet beforehand. I'd at least prefer to not find you tearing apart your knuckles,"

"I was calming down,"

"No love you were hurting yourself,"

"Knuckles don't hurt though. It's more for the act of doing it than for the result,"

"Like it's something to do with your hand?" Remus confirmed the question with a nod, "Maybe we could get you a cube like Virgil's. Do you think that would help?" 

Remus shrugged. "But I don't know what would,"

"How about we try something next time?" Janus suggested as he started unrolled an inch of gauze, starting it around Remus's wrist. It was snug but not tight, and Remus said it stung but made everything feel secure.

" 'Everything'?" Janus tested patiently.

"If you pull on the deep ones they spread and bleed and the air in between feels weird. If they're covered good I can't touch them,"

"So you ment secure mentally rather than physically?" He asked for clarification.

"Both,"

"I read that some people find putting bandages on when they feel impulses to hurt themselves helps them keep from doing it. It kind of uses your same theory of 'If the area is covered than I can't do it',"

"Why were you reading up on that stuff?" Remus hoped it wasn't because of him, but he also hoped it wasn't because of Janus himself. 

"I didn't read it. Someone who used it themself told me,"

"Virgil?"

"No,"

"Patton?" "No," "Logan?" "No," "Thomas?" "No,"

"But that's everyone were physically able to talk to,"

"I'm aware, but that's not my business to tell,"

"Yeah, I guess your right," 

Janus turned his hand over gently once he secured the gauze. He turned his back to Remus as he messed with something on the counter for a few minutes. When he turned back he had 5 band-aids with hearts drawn on outside on either side of the cotton pad. He secured them over the 3 fingers Remus has been scratching raw with a bit of Neosporin underneath. 

Janus let go of Remus's hand for the second time that hour and he was still shaking. 

"How would you like some tea? Not coffee because you need something calming I believe,"

"Yeah that sounds nice," Remus found his vision blurring again as he started tearing up.

"Here," Janus looped his arm through Remus's right and put his hand on his back like earlier, and they went to the kitchen. 

"Good evening?" Logan asked when he heard the two join him in the kitchen, "Remus! What happened?" He started when he saw Remus come in covered in gauze up his arm and a bandage over his chest that was starting to tinge red, his shirt still in the bath. 

"That dragonwitch my brother runs with? Total bitch!" Remus laughed brashly and Logan tilled his head muttering "Ok, I believe that," about the creature.

"Did you defeat it?" He asked as he poured himself a coffee and sat it next to a plate of crackers. 

"Let's just say it's going to be looking for a second round, and NOT the sexy kind," Remus grinned. Logan congratulated him and left with his food and drink. 

"Are we not going to talk about that?" Janus asked after putting on the kettle.

"About what?"

"If I hadn't cleaned you up even I wouldn't have been able to tell that was a lie,"

"Oh, yeah. That happens sometimes I guess,"

"How often do you do... that?"

"Like make myself look badass? 24/7 baby!" Remus smiled widely and bounced his shoulders. He winced as he regretted the left as the bandages moved and the cuts and burns pulled and scratched against it but his smile came back none the less. 

"Are you actually feeling fine now?"

"Nope! I'm probably going to pour boiling water over my hand as soon as that starts screaming, but if you bounce around and act cheery it can't hurt you. Besides, I cried most of it out,"

Janus just stared in shock as Remus stood up on his tiptoes to reach a box of chocolates from the top on the cupboard.

"Pat said we can share and Dork said this has happy chemicals in it. Not edibles as I had thought he meant," Remus raised his voice on the second sentence as if to get Logan to overhear, "But they're still good,"

"…Sure," Janus took one and popped it in his mouth and waited to make their drinks and to give Remus more love and care than he thinks he's ever seen.


End file.
